


The Animal Within

by Skellington24



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Eventual Smut, First Time Blow Jobs, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:01:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24789664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skellington24/pseuds/Skellington24
Summary: AU -Remus joins Hogwarts at the start of their sixth year, as a socially inexperienced boy who's never had friends but is eager to start living his life outside the basement. Lily brings him into her social circle, gentle friends who accept his anxieties and try to help. Things look positive, until he meets the Marauders. That's when the complications start, drama erupts as his parents feared. But how does Remus handle his new life while fighting his animal within?
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I read through the old version of this fiction and realised some bits were from an unedited version and there were bits missing. I like the story idea, so instead of leaving it, I deleted it and I'm now rewriting it.

Remus couldn't help the nervous shivers that ran through him as he paced the unfamiliar corridor outside Professor Dumbledore's office. He waited to be called in by his parents so his constant companion, anxiety, would go away. His poor muggle parents, who had been trying to accept the concept of magic since it had shown up in Remus, and who were now sitting in the Headmaster's office in a magical school for witches and wizards. Remus was actually proud of how well they were taking it. In their shoes, he would have been more than a little tense in the shoulders. He frequently pinched himself, trying to prevent his excitement rising as he thought he'd finally done it, finally convinced them to let him come. Now he just needed Dumbledore to accept him.

For the past six years, they'd been too worried to let him out his front door, let alone to an enclosed school surrounded by other people. When Remus was five years old, his parents had taken him on a family hiking trip in the huge forest near where he lived. Foolishly, he'd crept out of their tent one night to hunt for fairies or something else magical from his bedtime stories, but got lost. Being five years old, he didn't know what he could do other than to cry for his mummy. That only made his situation worse as the noise attracted the attention of a werewolf, who apparently seemed to think his shoulder looked rather tasty because there was a huge scar in a mouth crescent shape there. If it hadn't have been for his wizard magic, which caused a thick tree branch to break off and slam into the werewolf's face and making it flee, he'd have died right there. Sometimes he wished he had, it probably would have been better than the pain he went through every night the full moon was high in the sky, or the fact that he'd left his basement bedroom possibly five times in the past 11 years.

Since then though, his parents never let him out of their sight. They said it was worry about what would happen if someone found out what he'd become, but he knew they worried about what he could do to someone. It was a comfort they never voiced it though, Remus appreciated it. They'd found him a wizard tutor through the Ministry to visit his basement daily, so he'd still been learning how to control and use his magic, and the almost 24/7 attention meant he was now skilled in every aspect he'd been taught. Obviously, that didn't include flying, which was because his parents had forbidden it, and his basement ceiling wasn't high enough. Not that Remus was that bothered he couldn't fly, he'd started learning to Apparate two months ago and was pretty good at it, even if he couldn't actually use it until he was 17. Less than a week to go. The only reason they were giving in to Remus' plea to let him do his N.E.W.T.s at Hogwarts was that he'd shown them how well he could control his 'condition' and promised that he'd keep it a secret. He could handle it, they'd raised him to be mature enough. And that's why he was there. Friday on the 2nd of September became a day he'd always remember no matter how it went from here. Accepted or not, this was proof he was ready to enter society.

The click of a door opening drew Remus' attention, his excitement becoming nerves that threatened to choke him, and his mother poked her head around the door to inform him the Headmaster now wanted to talk to him. Remus nodded, making sure his tatty old suit looked as presentable as he could make it before he entered Dumbledore's office. He felt embarrassed for meeting a high-power person in a second-hand, grubby suit, but his parents couldn't afford any better and he wasn't working himself either.

The old man was sitting behind a large wooden desk, talking to a beautiful, exotic-looking bird he had perched on a stand by his side. Remus complimented Professor Dumbledore on his beautiful Phoenix, hoping his knowledge and politeness would sway the Headmaster into accepting him into the school. Maybe distract him from the tatty clothes and scarred face.

"No need for compliments Mr Lupin, seen as I never bothered much with first impressions," Dumbledore rasped wisely. "After speaking with your parents, I feel further inclined to let you stay at Hogwarts for your N.E.W.Ts these two years."

Remus beamed, rushing right over to shake his new Headmaster's hand. He had to have thanked him at least five times before finally letting go of his hand. Professor Dumbledore merely laughed and instructed him to retrieve a tattered old hat off a shelf just high enough for Remus to reach. Having read all about Hogwarts before he came, he knew just what to expect as the hat was lowered onto his head.

_Ahh, right now,_ it said from inside his head, _let me think about you. I sense intelligence and a desire to learn, a good match for Ravenclaw, but also a desire for friends that gives me cause to think Hufflepuff. I can't deny your courage either, the strength of your will considering your…condition is quite astonishing. Oh, there's something to fit you in every house I see, but I sense more of one than the others, a house I remember sending many pranksters to._

"Gryffindor" it announced to Dumbledore, before falling silent on Remus' head.

"Well then, it's settled," Dumbledore grinned, flicking his wand at Remus' clothes.

In an instant, Remus' suit turned into a set of black school robes, his suit appearing folded in his mother lap. Around his neck looped a silky, scarlet tie, with golden stripes across it. His shoes were black and polished, obviously new, and he briefly worried about how his parents were going to afford his little makeover. He wasn't even sure how they were affording the tuition fees. That was until Dumbledore informed his parents they didn't have to worry about paying for it, that it was his welcome gift to Remus. Or an early birthday gift if they preferred, since it was only a week away. Dumbledore wrote a quick note and gave it to Fawkes for a girl named Lily. The bird left swiftly and elegantly, Remus' gaze following the movement before he considered his biggest issue.

"Excuse me Professor, but I was wondering where you wanted me to go next weekend, for my…change."

"Ah yes, I apologise, it slipped my mind," he smiled. "I have planned for Hagrid to meet you at 7 o'clock by the large Whomping Willow on our grounds, he'll lead you where you need to go with your new…equipment."

This scraped some of Remus' anxiety away and he started to feel better now he knew there was a plan for the weekend. He trusted Dumbledore to find a safe enough place for when he fully lost control of the demon he tried to keep hidden. And new equipment was much safer than his old stuff. It sucked to have to change on the night before his birthday when he would have wanted to spend it with friends. If he made any in 9 days.

There was a firm knock on the door, and a young girl came in. She looked like she could be in his year, or perhaps the year above by the confident way she carried herself. She was really pretty, she had eyes that were green like springtime and bright red hair. Remus knew she was trying to hide her reaction, but her eyes widened when she looked at his face before quickly returning her gas to the Headmaster. The scars usually got that reaction, so Remus didn't find it rude. Just natural.

"Mr Lupin, this is Miss Lily Evans. She is also a sixth year Gryffindor." He smiled, "Lily, I asked you here to show Remus to the dormitories and to his first lesson. I believe you both have Potions for the first two lessons this morning."

"Of course, sir," she nodded, gesturing for Remus to leave with her.

Remus nodded, satisfied that he was now ready to start his academic years at Hogwarts. He pecked his mother on the cheek as he left, sharing a smile with his dad before meeting his new friend in the hallway. Lily seemed friendly enough to be his first friend, not badgering him with questions about his scars or walking as far away from him as possible. He followed her up one of the many hallways, twisting through the maze of corridors like an expert. She didn't start a conversation immediately, so Remus took that as a cue to walk in comfortable silence. She'd say something when he was ready.

"Is it rude to ask why you're joining the school with only two years to go?"

Remus tried not to be too fazed by the question. He knew it would come eventually today, but he had expected something else as her first question. Everyone questioned the scars first. He resited the excuse he'd practised about his social anxiety holding him back slightly, and how he was more under control so he was allowed to attend school. It was half the truth. He certainly felt anxious about all the people, but Lily didn't need to know that his nerves came from years in a dark basement only interacting with three people and that making it hard to handle the outside world. Remus wasn't neglected, or physically abused, or anything scary like that. He knew his parents loved him as much as life itself, they were just scared and he bore the brunt of that. He was scared too, knowing there were monster instincts in him that he had to control. But that was easy after 11 years, he just needed to avoid getting angry.

Lily mistook the following silence as part of his anxiety and he wasn't going to correct her. She started asking him about lessons, which ones he'd chosen as N.E.W.T.s and how his O.W.L.s had gone. He felt more comfortable with this subject. He hadn't gotten below an Acceptable and had taken most subjects that schools offered. He didn't have much beyond books in the basement, meaning loads of time on his hands with his tutor, so he was good with all 12 subjects he'd studied. Lily seemed impressed but was of a similar level with the few courses she'd taken. They could definitely have intellectual conversations, which was a comfort to him.

"We take most of the same N.E.W.T.s together. Potions, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Arithmancy and Care of Magical Creatures. But I take Muggle Studies and Ancient Runes. You take-"

"Herbology and Charms. Being Muggleborn, I didn't think it was that useful learning what I already know, you know?"

"I'm Muggleborn too. I think it's cute hearing the wizard-raised kids look surprised by muggle things." She giggled.

She promised him that she knew people who were nice enough who took the subjects they didn't share, so she offered to introduce him to them in the Common Room. Remus accepted, wanting all the help possible when it came to making friends. He wasn't good at starting a conversation, but his tutor helped his courage over holding one. She laughed that most Gryffindors were really talkative, so he'd be fine. He hadn't noticed how far they'd gone until he was on the staircase outside their House area, Gryffindor Tower. Lily asked if he was ready to go in, as it might be a bit busy. Remus just linked their arms, saying he'd be fine as long as there was someone he knew, which was her. She smiled and opened the entrance, letting noise vent out and making his anxiety try to choke him slightly.


	2. Chapter 2

Some people stared as they came in, but Lily shut them down with a look that promised pain. Remus tried not to laugh that someone pretty and smaller than most people in the room could intimidate them. She walked Remus to a corner table with two other girls and introduced him. Alice did Herbology with him and their friend Amelia did Charms. The girls looked at Remus in shocked concern, but Amelia was the one brave enough to ask about the face. Lily was caught between looking at Amelia in shock, and looking at him in curiosity. He shaved the truth again by telling them it was an animal attack when he was five, very believable.

"Poor you," Alice frowned. She reached over and took his hand. "If anyone says anything about them, we'll get Lily to hex them."

Amelia nodded, "nobody casts a stinging hex like our Lily."

Lily smirked confidently, which made him chuckle. She insisted that the three of them were the only academically focused Gryffindors in their year, so they were Remus' kind of people. Alice opened up about knowing some Ravenclaw boys if he wanted male friends. Amelia took this to be the moment to warn him that if he got into a relationship with Lily then he'd be bullied by James and his friends like her friend Severus Snape.

"They call it pranks, but if the poor boy ends up in the Hospital Wing then I wouldn't call it that."

"Wow, why? Is he a jealous ex or something?" Remus laughed. "Well, firstly you don't have to fear, I'm not really into girls. In a gay way, not an 'I'm focusing on other things' way. And secondly, this James guy needs to move on with his life."

The three girls giggled, seeming more comfortable. Remus would have considered that weirdly obnoxious, like he was trying to get with them just because he was a guy. But he figured that that wasn't it because they seemed like genuinely nice girls. It must have been his attitude over James, but at least it got across the Remus was a nice person. Lily wrapped an arm around his shoulders from the side.

"Hey. Are you not going to introduce the new guy?"

Remus turned to look across the table to where three boys stood just behind Alice and Amelia. One had very messy black hair and glasses that hid hazel eyes. He was relatively handsome, with a very attractive build, but the way his eyes never left Lily told Remus all he needed to know about that. Seems this kid was James. On that boy's left stood a tubby sandy blond-haired boy, who merely looked at Remus as if he were unsure whether he should stare or not. Stuck between looking at Remus or Lily before settling with the floor. I felt those nerves, they were bubbling through me too. And finally, on the right was another black-haired boy. This one was much more gorgeous than the other two, with grey eyes that seemed to stare right into Remus. He had to swallow the predatory growl his beast was letting out. The strange guy was certainly our type, but the confused intrigue in those eyes told Remus that he must have been the boy that asked the question.

"These are the assholes that bully Sev if you needed clarification." Lily scowled, keeping her arm around Remus.

The middle guy smiled, "Lily, we don't bully him. We pull pranks on everyone. And we only wanted to greet the new meat, seen as 'Remus Lupin' was added to the names on our dorm room door."

That didn't sound very fun to him, but Remus wasn't going to argue with them. If he was in their room, there must be a reason and he wasn't one to complain. That would just be asking for them to ruin his two years there, and the wolf part of him can get more control when he's angry. Last time he'd gotten angry at someone, he'd thrown a table across the room and almost hit his tutor. It was something he'd learned to control quickly. He tried to be polite as he introduced himself. If his parents could teach him something, it was how to maintain manners when in an awkward or uncomfortable situation. Remus excused himself from Lily to go up to his dorm to get his Potions book and peeled away from the small group before his anxiety was sparked. Hopefully Lily would be warning them off picking on Remus. He could stand up for himself, but that might not go so well. For them.

He found the room easily. There were four beds in the room, three messy from sleep and one neat from never being used. Everything red and gold, Gryffindor colour like his tie. His new school trunk was at the foot of his bed, and there were a timetable and a satchel on his pillows. It must have cost his parents a lot to get all his supplies, but he was thankful everything looked new. He didn't have to worry about anyone looking at him for being poor. Lily was right about the lessons he had today. Double Potions before lunch, then Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology and Charms. Most of his day was with Lily, and with lunch offering the chance to get to know Alice and Amelia better means he'll hopefully be okay in those classes. Seemed like a plan to him. He heard the door and turned to see the attractive guy of that group.

"Lily said I could walk you to Potions if I was nice. Something about anxiety and making friends." He smiled. It was the kind of smile that came off flirty, though he probably didn't mean it.

"So are you offering to be my friend?" Remus raised an eyebrow and turned back to his things, taking the relevant books from his trunk to put in his satchel. Anything to keep his eyes off the boy that seemed to set his demons howling.

Then the hairs straightened on the back of his neck and he tensed. The guy was coming closer, and his scent was continuing to move closer as it was all around Remus. He pointed out that Lily happened to mention he was into guys. He said he'd never screwed around with a guy before but it was definitely something he wanted to explore with his new roommate, and being dorm buddies gave them the advantage to use for fun. Given he knew nothing about Remus, and even he could admit he wasn't a looker because of the scars. Being messed with made his inner beast go from aroused to angry, and this was harder to contain. Remus stated firmly he wasn't interested, but the other boy just chuckled.

"I knew she was lying. Trying to get us to leave you alone because you fancy her. I saw you two all over each other. Guess I'll still be getting some fun out of you, thinking of fun pranks to pull."

Something shoved against Remus' shoulder, rough enough to make him wobble slightly. Even if he'd had perfect control of his emotions, nothing could have stopped his monster coming out after being shoved like that. It insisted violence was the easiest defence against violence. So what else could he do but turn round and slam the unsuspecting boy against the nearest bedpost by his shoulders? The confidence disappeared at the sight of Remus' anger and body boxing him in, which just satisfied him more.

"So to you, I'm not gay because I don't want meaningless sex with someone who throws himself at strangers like a whore? Why don't you get the fuck over yourself?" He growled, fingers digging into flesh as the beast took over. "I can only assume that's why those other two hang out with you since they sent you up here for proof like pimps. You can report back that skanks aren't my style, and that if bullying Lily's friends are their flirting techniques, then no wonder she's still single. Now stay the fuck away from me."

Grabbing his satchel and leaving was the only alternative to actually hitting the guy. Remus was shaking with rage as he left, using every breathing technique to take back his control, but when he saw the other two were gone his mood improved slightly faster. He guessed they had faith that their friend would get lucky, so it mustn't have been the first time something like that had happened. Lily was still waiting with her friends, and they asked if Sirius was nice to him. His voice was tight as he replied that whoever the guy was that followed him upstairs wasn't nice. Remus asked if they were walking to Potions now because he was anxious to be there with enough time. Though he just wanted to get going before 'Sirius' came back downstairs. What kind of name was 'Sirius' anyway? Must be a pureblood. Imagining the horror on his face when he was told he'd tried to screw a muggle-born improved Remus' mood to immensely.

The girls packed up and walked with him, providing a distraction when he noticed Sirius' friends outside the portrait. Otherwise, he might have started a fight with them too and he wanted things at school to work well. But the girls kept up the conversation, which was fine by him. Remus was proud of how well he'd handled his temper when his inner animal wanted to eat that guy for breakfast and shit him out again. Feeling in control of the monster curbed the edge of his anxiety a little better.

"Oh Sev, this is Remus. He's new, and James is picking on him. Now you have something in common."

The boy Lily spoke to looked poor too. His Slytherin robes were second-hand, and his hair was slick and greasy. He had stains from potions on his fingers, but he didn't seem to care what he looked like. He gave him an analysing look, but Remus tried his best to smile as he waited anxiously for a response. He gave a small nod and seemed comfortable, but he didn't speak to anyone but Lily. Remus was the same when he first got there, so he didn't want to judge him on it. He still wasn't confident talking to anyone else himself. But Severus had been there long enough it was weird he didn't speak to the other girls.

When they reached the classroom, Lily offered to work with Remus. She explained that Severus didn't work well with others, even her, so worked alone at his bench. The other two would share, which left her free. Remus agreed and followed her to a bench at the back with his shrunken cauldron before returning it to its natural size wordlessly. This impressed the professor, who started quizzing him on Potions. Remus seemed to impress, he did get an Outstanding in his Potions O.W.L. after all. Severus seemed to warm to him a little after that, seemed potions was a real passion for him.

Then a loud group drew his attention and the three douches from before came in. The one with glasses and the sandy blonde were laughing at the other one. Sirius something. He looked confused. His eyes went straight to Remus, and he looked away to murmur to his friends. Remus was slightly embarrassed now he knew Sirius had told his friends, but then that made him angrier. He pointed out to Lily that the one he thought was James was heading for Severus and she apologised. He hushed her and smiled as she went to stand with him. But the other guy just walked passed him. She looked at Remus confused and he smiled. That helped her relax. Her face contorted into a scowl behind him, and a familiar scent clouded around him as Sirius came to stand beside him with his things. Great. This lesson would be fun.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus wanted to look to Lily for support. This must have been a ploy, getting his friends to go near Severus so Lily would leave his side. Without a bench partner, Sirius could take her place and bug him until he ripped him apart. Because with enough pushing Remus could and probably would tear him apart. He only hoped pointlessly that the asshole wouldn't bring up what he'd said in the dorm room.

"Hey, best friend," Sirius smirked. "Don't mind working next to me, do you?"

It was hard, but Remus didn't respond. He didn't even look at him, just tried to ignore his scent and keep his eyes forward. He tried a small smile at Lily's concern. The professor instructed them to start making a Draught of Sleeping Death. It was a potion Remus had already tried, and it had turned out pretty well, with small variations to what his textbook said to do. It would go well if he wasn't being continually distracted. But from what he'd heard from Lily, that wasn't the kind of person sitting next to him. But he thought he could brave through it.

"I want to apologise for 'throwing myself at a stranger like a whore'. It was a favour for my friends, as they can't flirt and I'm better looking. Well, James might have had a shot, but he's only got eyes for Lily. I'll have you know, that if you'd accepted the offer I wouldn't have gone through with it. I'm actually not as much of a skank as you think I am, given I've never let a girl go beyond second base with me."

"Apology accepted, not that I needed the extra information." Remus drawled, "I'm working, so if you mean your apology you can start by not distracting me."

He remarked how Remus was asking a lot of him when they weren't proper friends yet. They smiled to each other, as much as Remus attempted not to, which was ruined when Sirius questioned the scars across his face. He gave the same excuses, self-consciously turning away from the other boy. But his mood took a negative turn.

"Jesus, are you half-finished already?" Sirius frowned, "you're like Snivellus, I'm slightly less attracted to you now."

 _Meaning he's somewhat attracted to me_ , Remus smirked. Remus asked who he was talking about and followed his gaze to Lily. She was getting some help from Severus, who was crushing her sopophorous bean. The textbook said cut, but you'd never get the juice out with knives this blunt. It reminded him that he was standing next to a bully. That also didn't improve his mood with the boy next to him. Sirius asked how much Lily had said about his friends and him.

"Well, I'm Sirius Black, the attractive one. Four-eyes over there is James Potter, the one who thinks he's funny and the dim blonde is Peter Pettigrew, he's the shy guy." He grinned, "we're troublemakers. We live to prank others, not just the grease-monkey over there. He just gets the worst ones."

"Why do you bully him?" Remus frowned, turning to him in disapproval. "Just because James is jealous of how close he is to Lily?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm immature, but I'm not a fucking child. If he just fancied Lily and treated her right, James would just live with his eternal loneliness. But Snivellus doesn't defend her to his blood-purist house or help her when they try to hurt her. I remember they had an argument and he called her a mudblood."

Just the word made Remus flinch at the hurt it can cause. He let Sirius continue.

"So he doesn't deserve her but won't let her be happy with anyone else. She went on a date with a Hufflepuff last year, giant wimp but he was nice to her, and he ignored her for weeks, calling her a slut. I don't get why she puts up with him."

This was different. Remus hadn't heard any of this from Lily, but she probably didn't want to turn him against the guy before he got to know him. There must have been some reason she still hung out with him. Then Remus considered Sirius might not be telling the truth. He'd have to ask Alice or Amelia, so he could avoid pissing Lily off if it was not true. But Remus wanted to believe Sirius, he wanted to get along with his new roommate for some reason. There had to be one redeeming quality to this narcissistic bully.

Then Lily bounded up to them and demanded to know if Sirius had done something. Both Remus and Sirius looked up at her in confusion, then Sirius shrugged. He raised his hands and used the other boy as a witness that they were just talking, nothing had been done. Remus had to agree but asked what had happened. Her scowl deepened as she asked if it wasn't Sirius who poured ink in her friend's hair, who had? Then they heard sniggering somewhere behind them. James was trying to keep a straight face, though his lips quirked at the end slightly, and Peter had to put a hand over his mouth. It became clear who the culprits were.

"Oi you bastards, don't get me into trouble for that shit." Sirius chuckled, "I'm still injured from the last time she hit me."

James stood and sauntered around his desk, confessing his guilt and offering to take whatever punishment she dealt out. Remus looked for Professor Slughorn, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. Lily stormed past them to James, who stopped and waited for her. He didn't look over-confident like he knew he could take her down to defend himself, his gaze just followed her fondly. It wasn't something Remus had anticipated. He had assumed James' attraction to Lily was physical and territorial, the 'thrill-of-the-chase'. A concept he could understand naturally, being a werewolf. But he could see that it was genuine admiration, maybe even as deep as love, that the boy felt towards her. It made him like the guy a little more.

"Do you think I won't hit you just because Slughorn's in the storage cupboard?" She glared.

"I do not doubt that his presence wouldn't stop you doing anything you set your mind to," the spectacled boy purred. "You're too strong-willed."

It was a compliment, no other way to see it. Lily's cheeks flushed slightly, but her stance remained the same. It suddenly because clear to Remus that Lily liked James. Maybe as much as he liked her, but she was holding herself back for some reason. Remus guessed that reason was sat at his bench silently brewing his potion as if nothing was happening. The ink was even still in his hair. He didn't seem to care that Lily was sticking up for him, which looked ungrateful to Remus. When you don't feel you can stand up for yourself, having somebody there would have made Remus' life so much easier and Snape was taking it for granted. He was starting to like the kid less with every passing minute.

Then Slughorn returned and requested everyone go back to their seats. Remus provided a distraction by asking the professor to look at his finished potion. A red feather was dropped into the centre, and it disintegrated into the cauldron. Perfect, he'd called it. After cleaning up his cauldron, Remus started helping Sirius, not that he'd asked, but it kept the young wolf distracted. Everything happening was setting off his anxiety. For a reason Remus couldn't fathom, the other boy kept watching his hands when he prepared ingredients. Or staring at his face when he was trying to concentrate on stirs.

"What are you staring at? It's starting to bother me."

Sirius just smiled, "I don't know quite what it is, but there's something about you I like. I'm going to love being your roommate Remus, we can get to know each other very well."

His tone was suggestive, his eyes travelling over Remus, and back to his hands. It made the older boy blush a little, stepping away so Sirius could finish his own potion. He kept his hands knotted together, suddenly very conscious they were scared on the back. The wolf's voice inside was growling to grab the other boy with those hands and get to know him now. But he wasn't letting that happen, he needed to control himself. Although that was made harder the longer they were together.


	4. Chapter 4

Remus hated to think he was being shady. Some might think that going behind Lily's back and talking to her friends about Severus Snape was shady, but Amelia and Alice were more likely to give him unbias answers. Lily didn't seem like a liar, but she wouldn't tell him those bits. Regardless of what they are, Snape was still her friend and she wasn't going to spread bad shit about him. Sirius, on the other hand, did seem the sort of person to lie, and since he hated the kid it made sense for him to. But Remus still hoped there was a redeemable quality in Sirius, so the other two girls were his only option.

He found a moment in Herbology to whisper his concerns to Alice. She looked uncomfortable talking about it, but he only asked if she could confirm what Sirius had told him. Turns out the other boy hadn't lied, but Alice felt uncomfortable saying anything mean about Snape when he was still Lily's friend.

"I get it, I'm not trying to say anything mean either," Remus smiled. "But after what Sirius had said, I wanted to know if it was the truth. Lily didn't mention it is all. It doesn't matter anyway."

His fellow Gryffindor seemed to relax to that. She was such a gentle soul, it was a surprise to see her in Gryffindor when she seemed to fit the Hufflepuff criteria better. Then again, he hadn't seen how brave she could be, and it was dangerous to underestimate others.

He wondered if there was a reason to ask Amelia anything as he headed towards Charms. Alice had confirmed what he'd already been told, but was there anything else? If there was, this was his best chance at finding out. He decided that there might be, but found the truth before he could ask.

"Why do you put up with filth like that?" A Slytherin was saying to Snape two rows away. "Muggles and mudbloods are filth, Severus. Bathing in mud attracts the wrong attention."

Remus hoped he'd defend her aggressively, but he was stunned at Severus' weak response. "Regulus, she keeps those Gryffindor creeps away from me. Just drop the topic already, it's my business."

That was all he'd needed to hear. Remus didn't condone bullying, but he agreed that that kid didn't deserve someone as wonderful as Lily in his life. If what he suspected about Lily's feelings for James were true, then she was sacrificing happiness for him. And all he could say for their friendship was that she was his human shield against bullies.

It wasn't his place to tell Lily he was a waste of space asshole, but he still wanted to do something. He needed to do something. He remembered the impression Lily gave him during her argument with James. He'd bring it up, because if it was true then he wanted her to be happy. Remus had known her for less than 12 hours, but he knew he could be persuasive. And she was his first friend, ever, so he wanted to look out for her.

He sat beside her at dinner, and Sirius forced his way into a spot across from him. He smirked at Remus' raised eyebrow, and then there was something against the young wolf's foot. He moved it away quickly, before Sirius brought the monster out of me. For some reason, he could so easily break my control and make me almost animalistic with my thoughts of him. It was too risky to be anywhere near him. James got the one across from Lily.

She tried not to listen to his conversation with Sirius, but she giggled now and then, and it wasn't anything Remus said. James asked her if she understood the homework they'd been given in Muggle Studies. She tried to look annoyed as she explained it, but Remus was starting to see through the cracks. Now he suspected her feelings, he could see all the little signs. Her eyes smiled even if her mouth wasn't, and his compliments either made her blush or tuck her hair behind her ear. She had caught some feels, it was clear to see. Lily finished eating before him but he asked her to wait for him so they could head off to the dorms together. She agreed, and he rushed the last pieces of his food. They headed out together in comfortable silence. Except he pulled her into an empty room when he was sure nobody was around.

"Woah, okay Remus, no need to pull so hard. Damn, you have a strong grip for a skinny dude. What's up?"

"I don't know how to ease into this, so I'm just gonna say it, okay?" She nodded, which Remus found encouraging. "Earlier in Potions, when you were squaring up to James, I thought I noticed something. And I've been seeing it all day, every single time you too interact with each other. I think you like him back, and I know I'm probably just talking about stuff I have no right to, but I think you should give him a chance. Otherwise, he might end up being your biggest regret."

She thanked him for the concern, but she wasn't going to date someone who treated her friends badly. Remus pointed out their politeness to everyone but one friend, and after hearing how he spoke about her in Charms he didn't think Snape was worth damaging her happiness. She asked what he meant, and he explained what he'd heard between the two Slytherins. She didn't look surprised but her eye crinkled in rage. He reached across to take her hand and comfort her.

"Look, the point I'm making is that I can see how much James likes you. I see it in the way he looks at you, and his tone when he talks to you, it's adorable. I was originally worried it was about the 'thrill of the chase', but it's deeper than that. I think if you let yourself be with him, he wouldn't need to bully Snape, because he wouldn't need to worry about Snape wearing you down into a relationship when he doesn't respect you. And if Snape isn't grateful and happy for you, if he ignores and insults you, then he doesn't deserve your friendship. And you'll still have us as friends."

She looked down and blushed. She admitted it wasn't something she'd ever thought about seriously, so these weren't things she'd considered. Being with James had seemed so unnatural before. But now Lily was thinking, she was agreeing with the points Remus made. He told her to consider it, think it over tonight and sleep on it, so if she still saw the merits in the morning it was worth talking to James about. At least making him take her on a date. They could always gossip after that.

Lily giggled, "Thank you, Remus. I know Alice and Amelia think about him that way, but knowing where Sev comes from makes me feel sorry for him. But there's only so much I can sacrifice for his happiness. Thanks for talking me into this."

Remus grinned. They exited the classroom smiling like idiots, and their moods didn't darken on the way to the dorm, even as they entered the common room. Their friends gave them confused looks for being last in when they were first to leave the Great Hall. Lily left Remus to deal with them, kissing his cheek before skipping up the stairs to the girls' dorm. The other two girls followed her with stunned, curious expressions and Remus was faced with three less-than-pleased boys. Sirius looked jealous and grumpy, James looked sad but he was braving it out, and Peter just looked a little angry.

"Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong." Remus grinned, "you can thank me in the morning if it goes the way I think it will."

He laughed at their confused looks and headed up to the dorm. He knew the boys would be following him soon in the hope for answers, so speed-dressing was his only options. Scars marked his body all over, chest and back, both his legs. It wasn't just the backs of his hands. Luckily he had his pyjamas on before they all opened the door, hiding the scars from view. Being chained up wasn't fun for his werewolf self, so he clawed himself in frustration. They were mostly healed by the time he regained consciousness but they were pretty big. The boys asked what Remus was talking about downstairs, but the brunette just laughed about confidentiality among friends and tapped his nose. Lily would talk when she was ready. James and Peter reluctantly went about their business, but Sirius continued to frown at Remus.

He questioned what the other boy's problem was, and he blushed. Sirius looked to his friends as they got into bed. They guessed what his friend meant and put up privacy wards as they closed their curtains. Giving Sirius and Remus privacy also. The black-haired boy fidgeted and whispered in his ear that seeing Lily kiss him made him jealous. This surprised Remus. He hadn't considered the other boy's interest to be real or that he'd be so open about it. He could just stand shock-still as Sirius leaned in and kissed the spot Lily had, except his lips lingered and brought heat to his cheeks.

"That's better, now we're even," Black smirked. "I didn't like watching her kiss you. Even if it was just the cheek."

Remus had to dig his nails into his palms to keep himself controlled. He breathed an apology and backed away. The other boy's scent was invading his nostrils and driving him mad. Nobody else had this effect on him and he was worrying how long his control could keep his demons in check. Sirius just smiled.

"It's okay. I don't know, but I'm sure your anxiety makes being around people difficult. But I meant what I said, I want to get to know you. So I'll go slow with you. Hope you're worth the wait."

He didn't know what there was to say to that, so he slowly nodded as he backed away into his bed. He read about how soft the sheets at Hogwarts were, but it truly felt like laying on clouds. He'd never been able to afford luxury comfort like this in his basement, but the sensation of laying there relaxed him so quickly he was asleep in seconds. He dreamt of happy things, like James and Lily working it out, Snape just accepting it and not being a knob anymore, and of more than a kiss on the cheek with Mr Black in the bed next to his.


	5. Chapter 5

Remus woke to a quiet room. There was the light sound of snoring from one of the others. Peter, if his ears were working this early. Nobody sounded close to waking, but they had an hour or so before they needed to. Remus had never been much of a sleeper, nightmares came most nights about the things his wolf can do others. The horrifying images of blood and horror he was capable of and could never escape from. That was another part of his curse he was used to, but half the problem causing his anxiety.

He showered and dressed before they started to turn. _Guys must be heavy sleepers_. The quiet was isolating and it made Remus feel like a caged animal. On nights that weren't a full moon, it was unbearable. He planned to wait for Lily in the Common Room to hear her verdict on James. I thought he'd planted enough seeds into her mind for the romance to bloom, but he didn't know the full story. As long as she was happy with her decision, he'd stand by her.

A rustle from Sirius's bed caught his attention, and he smirked. After all their talk of pranks, Remus wanted to join in. He wanted to play a prank on the pranksters, satisfy his need for poetic justice. While showing them he had talent. James' weakness was his eyes, the boy had glasses for a reason. So he bewitched James' glasses to change their prescription every minute. The other dark-haired boy was a classic narcissist whenever he spoke about himself, and Remus wanted to give him a makeover. He charmed Sirius' hairbrush, no doubt a very prized possession, to turn his hair grey with every stroke. Peter was more of a problem. Remus didn't know much about him, he was too quiet to give much away, always too shy. _Maybe he should talk more._ So Remus cast a spell that made him speak his thoughts in rhyme. They were in for a fun morning.

He headed down the stairs and sat in an armchair to read. Not a school book, Pride and Prejudice, one of my favourites. He hoped his day wouldn't become cramped with homework, he was getting back into the story and wanted time to finish it again. Lily joined him earlier than he expected, but she said it was hard to sleep. She wanted to give it a chance with James, or at least give him the chance to screw up a date, which meant we had to wait for him to come down so she could talk to him. Remus laughed that it may take a while as he'd pranked the other boys before coming downstairs. This interested her, so they waited to witness the fun.

The first noise was Sirius screaming and yelling about his hair as someone stumbled down the stairs. James came into view as his glasses shifted and he slipped down the rest. Flat on his ass, he looked up at them and blinked as the prescription changed again. Lily went to help him up with a light giggle, before bursting into hysteria when she looked up. Half of Sirius' hair was grey, and he looked absolutely infuriated. It was very funny. Remus joined Lily in her hysteria. _Where was Peter?_

> _**"Guys, I swear to you,** _
> 
> _**This prank I did not do.** _
> 
> _**See how I'm a victim too?** _
> 
> _**What I speak is true."** _

Peter trotted down the stairs looking livid. He raised his hand to his mouth, probably trying to stop his thoughts coming out as poems. Lily was in tears as she turned to Remus, who bowed dramatically as though he'd performed a great trick. James tried to feel him out with his hands stretched out, level with where his neck would be. It wasn't an activity Remus wanted to partake in, so he moved away. However, Sirius held his shoulders from behind so James could catch up and grab him.

"Yeah, very funny dude. Now fix my glasses."

Remus chuckled as he flicked his wand, removing the charm he'd placed on the visually-handicapped boy. The grip on his collar loosened, and James adjusted his glasses before smiling. So far, he was impressed by Remus and wanted to know what else the boy had up his sleeves. Before the young wolf could answer, he was spun around by a pouting Sirius. The boy in question demanded his hair be fixed, or he wouldn't be nice to him anymore.

It was tempting. Remus wanted this boy to stay far away from him, not look up at him with beautiful silver eyes and tilt his head so the perfect place to mark him was on display. It wasn't just the wolf inside desperately reaching out for the delicious treat in front of him, Remus had to admit he wanted Sirius too. But that was a bad idea. To have Sirius, he'd have to lose some of his control, let his desires consume him and his hidden monster. That wasn't a risk he could take. But neither was leaving the boy looking like the Bride of Frankenstein. So he fixed his hair.

> _**"Now repair what has been done to me.** _
> 
> _**It isn't fair to leave me, see?** _
> 
> _**A token that now friends are we,** _
> 
> _**Unprank me please I plea."** _

Lily was crying from how much she enjoyed Peter's state. But seeing his eyes water made Remus feel pity and he removed the enchantment. The sandy blonde opened his mouth to thank him, and sagged in relief when a whole limerick didn't follow it. James allowed Lily to pull him off to the side. Not that anyone could step in, Sirius was demanding attention now. He wanted his hairbrush fixed, so he didn't end up in the same state later. Remus pointed out he'd never known someone to talk of their hair like it was their child. Sirius regarded his hair with pride and defended that everyone has something they love about themselves more than any other thing. His was just his hair. Remus might have found it shallow, but Sirius just made it sound endearing. So he fixed his hairbrush and ran his fingers through the mess on the other boys head before he could stop himself. It looked like Sirius was about to say something, but James surprised them by hugging Remus from behind.

"Thank you, Remus. I've been longing for Lily for years, you show up for a day and she asks me out. It's a shame you're gay because you have skills with women. You are officially a Marauder."

"Hey, all I said was you can take me on a date." Lily scowled, "I'm giving you a chance to screw up and prove I was right to avoid you all these years."

James just smiled, his affection clear to everyone watching them. It made Remus feel warm to see, and his natural instinct was to pull Sirius into his side and inhale the scent of his hair. But he needed more control. Everything was about his control, had been for years. It was all he could do to handle himself around people. His eyes instead shifted to Peter, who was still blushing and looking at the floor like he wanted it to swallow him. It seemed strange to be so shy when he had befriended two boys who always drew attention. But Remus was too and he was part of whatever club they had. As this thoughts reminded him, he asked Sirius what James had meant about 'a Marauder'. Sirius explained they called their group of friends the Marauders, makers of mischief. Lily excused herself into the conversation to say goodbye.

"Amelia and Alice want to study in the library," she grinned. "Fancy coming with me Remus?"

He agreed, already distancing himself as Sirius moved a step closer. He seemed to furrow his brows at the action, and Remus retreated upstairs for his things. Whatever gods were watching him were merciful, as Sirius didn't follow him up the stairs to be alone like he had the day before. He let out a shaky breath to bring his heart rate to normal and returned to Lily's side. The walk out of the Common Room was silent, and Remus feared he'd lose himself in his thoughts, most of which involved the subtle hurt look on his crush's face as they'd left.

But Lily broke the silence, "Thank you. I wouldn't have had the courage to talk to James without your advice. If you ever need help, maybe if you were interested in someone, I'd help if you asked."

It was clear she meant Sirius. Remus didn't even know how to being explaining his situation to her. He knew he liked Sirius, but there were complications he couldn't put into words. Even if he tried, it was running the risk she'd realise what he is. He didn't want to lose her friendship. She offered to talk about her and James first, about the date and how he made her feel, but Remus had to show the same trust. He nodded, thankful it gave him time to consider his phrasing.

"I told him what you'd said, that you saw he liked me more than as a goal for his ego. And that you'd noticed how I reacted to him and convinced me to try dating him. I told him, I'd only agree if the bullying stopped because I wasn't sacrificing my happiness for Sev anymore, but I also didn't want to sacrifice his. He agreed pretty quickly, but I guess now he didn't have to be worried or jealous." She smirked.

"He makes me feel... It's tough to describe. He annoys the hell out of me, and sometimes I just want to knock his head against a wall. But he also makes me feel lighter. When he tells me jokes, or when he asks for my help with something he knows how to do just so he can hear my voice. It's strange, feeling desired. But I feel almost the same, his voice soothes me and I could imagine falling asleep as he read something to me. Plus he's fucking hot."

The last comment made Remus laugh before he could think to control it. He could admit James was hot, but it was hard for him to notice when the boy was always next to Sirius. Lily asked him to tell her about it.

"It's a little more complicated than you and James." He started, biting his lip. "I don't know how to even begin to describe how I feel. I have almost two sides warring in my mind. One is drawn to him, like a moth to a light, not just because he's unfairly attractive, or that he smells really good. The way he carries himself is so strong, like he's confident in his body and brave enough to show it. But I know he has a submissive side and I'm a hard time ignoring my instinct to-" He gave her a sideways look.

"I always want to be touching him, stroking his hair or holding is hand. Anything that shows I care for him and warn other people away. I know I have issues, being territorial and possessive, and I know people can't handle my intensity. So I'm trying to hold onto the part of my mind telling me to distance myself. I'm trying not to be alone with him, or even five feet from him, if you hadn't noticed. I need help controlling myself."

"Why?"

Her question confused Remus and he paused in the hall outside the library. She smiled that Sirius could be a little intense too, and while it was the blame of a large part of her wanting to see Sirius submissive to Remus because it sounded insanely sexy, she also wanted Remus happy. Her advice boiled down to what he'd said to her, about going slowly. Maybe a date, or at the very least trying to stand next to him.

"Don't worry about the territorial shit, just go with your own flow. If Sirius says no, it's hard luck. But if you don't try, he might end up being your bitterest 'what if' like James was almost mine."

Remus didn't know what to do, more confused after this talk than he was before. He knew the logical thing to do was talk to Sirius, give him the same censored version of how his beast side wanted to possess him. It was an intense feeling, having his usually controlled demons unleashed by someone he'd only met yesterday, but he'd read werewolf mating always went this way. And usually ended with the werewolf mauling their mate and either dying in grief or finding a new one. Something about his usual gentle disposition made Remus almost positive he was a part of the first group. He didn't want to hurt Sirius, his werewolf side wasn't gentle if the fantasies of slamming into him were anything to go by. And Lily's words made him anxious, thinking that Sirius could say no to him even after hearing his confession. It firmed his resolve. Regardless of what Lily thought, she didn't understand what he was going through, she didn't know he was a werewolf. He wasn't going to say anything, he was following his plan. Avoidance was his best option, the best option for both of them.


	6. Chapter 6

Two days. Remus' plans lasted two days before they were blown to shit by a pretty pissed off Sirius Black blocking his exit from the dorm room.

Saturday had continued as planned, he was working in the library until lunch and luckily avoided Sirius in the Great Hall, after that he'd retreated to the library alone a hid among the stacks.

On Sunday, he made his way out the Great Hall after breakfast and been caught by Severus Snape, who asked if Remus wanted to practice potions with him. It had been a shock. Remus didn't trust Snape, wasn't really a fan of him either, but admitted that his potions could always use practice. That brought a crooked smile to the Slytherin, and they discussed when potions they'd practised and were eager to learn. Snape reluctantly admitted he was impressed with how quick Remus had figured out you couldn't just slice a sopophorous bean.

"I've done it before, although my tutor almost knocked my eye out trying to cut the bean," He laughed fondly.

Severus just watched him, looking more nervous as they headed down the dungeons. It didn't take a rocket scientist to notice his eyes flicking around nervously, hoping not to see a fellow Slytherin while he was with a known muggle-born. But he didn't voice his concern or even ask Remus to stand away from him. They reached Slughorn's office before he spoke again.

"Do you mind asking him? Slughorn's a little biased, and while I'm best in his class I'm not charismatic to be useful. He seemed impressed by you, so do you mind?"

Remus didn't understand the other boy's discomfort but agreed to his request. He shyly knocked, and politely asked for the use of the equipment next door. Slughorn pandered to him, wanting to offer his company before Remus explained Severus Snape was offering his expertise. The professor still agreed, looking to Snape with disinterest before smiling back at Remus and dismissing them. Maybe Snape wouldn't have been allowed to practise with him there to ask. He asked, and Snape scowled that some days, Slughorn would agree if he could pay for ingredient replacement, but he couldn't. It was a sore subject, money wasn't something the Slytherin liked talking about.

"I get it, my stuff is new like this because of Professor Dumbledore and my parents spending more than they have," he smiled sadly. "We're not in poverty or anything, but it isn't always comfortable when you can't throw money at luxuries like other people."

He didn't understand why he was trying to make the other boy feel better, especially when his treatment of Lily had put him in a very bad light. But he wasn't the type to leave somebody feeling bad, not when he could help and avoid the awkward silences. Snape thanked him, a smile pulling at his lips before he set about retrieving ingredients. He returned in deep thought, silence continuing as they began working. Until Snape asked if Remus was really as trustworthy as he seemed, and Remus thought so. He certainly wasn't judgemental, which is why he was fine being Snape's ticket to the potions supplies and didn't take it personally that Snape would rather nobody see him with someone so low in blood status.

"I don't care about any of that. But when you don't pretend to, you end up hated on all sides. All houses not trusting you for being an evil Slytherin, while your own house doesn't see you as evil enough to associate with. My only real friend is Lily."

"Then what about the boy you sat with in Charms. The one who called her filth, when you didn't stand up for her." Remus frowned.

Severus flinched, but soon straightened. "Regulus isn't a friend. He has influence in my house and is the only one who believes I hate muggle-borns. It's easy to do when I think about home, my dad's the worst kind of muggle you can imagine. But I don't care. All I care about is getting good grades, so I can have a better life than I do now. Become a Potions Master, so people will pay top prices for my stuff and I can forget where I came from."

This was why Lily was still his friend. It was clear to see in the other boy's eyes that his father had beaten him, or a similar abuse that had left its mark. So all Severus could hope for was better, and he was willing to act and do whatever he had to achieve this. Even if it hurt others. Remus understood but didn't condone it.

"I don't need your approval," the other boy sneered.

"Then why bother telling me?" Remus countered calmly.

This caused another long silence, both boys returning to their work. Remus was making a cauldron of Wolfsbane potion, planning to store it for the next full moon. It was already too late to start taking it now. It looked like Snape was trying out a draught for dreamless sleep. Something else the young wolf needs, he thought with a smile. Snape took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders, ready for another verbal debate it seemed.

"I just wanted to tell you so that you'd understand. I'm a prick to people, but not without reason."

Remus chuckled darkly, turning to scowl at the other boy, "then why shame Lily when she dates, or do you count jealously as a good reason to torture her and remove any ounce of happiness."

This hit a nerve, and the other boy shook with suppressed anger. "Don't pretend you know what I'm thinking. You have no idea."

"Then explain it to me. Make me understand."

"Because I can't lose her, asshole," he glared, but now with watery eyes. "She is my only friend, inside and outside school. She's as unhappy at home as I am, she understands me like nobody else. And she's already popular, I'm lucky if I can talk to her on the way to one of her classes without Bones or Longbottom in the way. The thought of her leaving me for a boyfriend that won't even last week, that while he uses her for whatever, and I lose the only person who means anything to me. It kills me inside. So shut the fuck up about shit you don't understand, mudblood."

It was a reflex, the wolf lashing out again when his guard was shot down by the emotional boy in front of him. Remus smacked Snape across his face, both shocked by the action. Remus growled that he would do worse if the Slytherin dared to say that word again, not just to him or Lily but anyone. Then Remus lashed out without thinking, hugging the boy as the tears he couldn't hold back burst from his eyes. He held Snape there as he cried, waiting for the sniffling to end before speaking.

"I get you don't want to lose her. I've known Lily for a day, but she's already the best friend I could have hoped to make. But you need to have more faith in her. Explain your harsh words don't mean what she thinks when you're around your house friends. And have faith she won't throw you away for a boy, she hasn't got a boyfriend because she's scared of how you'd react. She doesn't want to lose you either, but if you keep pushing then she'll have to. She wants to be happy, so let her."

Remus turned back to finish his potion, left as soon as he'd bottled it up and cleared his space. Snape looked confused in thought as he closed the door behind him. He found Lily in the library and asked her to check on him. She'd been confused but concerned and rushed to the classroom. Later that day, she'd grabbed him in the common room before he could run up to the dorm, seeing Sirius out of the corner of his eye and knowing it was safe for now.

"I don't know what god sent you to me Remus, but I'm the luckiest girl alive." She grinned, joyous tears shining. "I was so worried about Sev and how he'd react, and just like that, you fixed it. You're a godsend."

She held him tighter and Remus nuzzled into her hair. She was the greatest girl, and if he was straight you can bet he'd be giving James a run for his money, but he was overjoyed Dumbledore had sent her to befriend him Friday. He shrugged off her enthusiasm, feeling lighter as she smiled. It was a useful distraction to ask about her date and what Snape had said. The date was cute, picnic by the lake and he'd fallen in while showing off his levitation skills. Snape had been mad she was with James, but as long as the bullying stopped and she was still his friend then he could be happy that she was happy. _Good, he made a good choice._ Remus avoided Sirius the rest of the day too.

Monday kept him busy, and Sirius didn't push him during lessons. He hated how warm it made him feel that the other boy cared about his studies to put those first. It was getting harder to ignore him, the hurt looks and angry posture cutting Remus apart. He hated hurting his mate like that. Except, he wasn't his mate. There wasn't a spoken reason for him to feel guilty or sad for not talking to Sirius, but he did. The other boy just wanted to be his friend, and Remus was being an asshole. But it was the best he had.

The worst happened at dinner when he'd been sat directly next to Sirius and still ignoring him. He avoided eye contact and tried his best to distance himself, giving the shortest replies to whatever was said when he couldn't avoid conversation. Tensions were higher as everyone left together, Remus looking longingly at James and Lily's conjoined hands, when they walked into a tense Snape and angry...Regular. Remus really couldn't remember. The other Slytherin eyed Remus and raised a mocking eyebrow at Snape, who cringed before squaring his shoulders at whatever unspoken challenge passed between him. Sirius approached the other Slytherin, calling him brother. That little fact had escaped Remus' knowledge.

"No balls," Regulus, as it turned out he was called, sneered at Snape.

The other Slytherin bristled under the comment, and before Lily could stand up to defend him, he was marching towards Remus. The taller boy was confused, nobody sure what to do. The Slytherin dodged Lily's grip and he stormed passed and pulled Remus' tie. Lips met in a hasty kiss, slightly parted lips but no tongue. Remus couldn't even think to close his eyes he was so shocked. When Snape pulled away he was blushing fiercely, nervously brushing his robes, before glaring over his eyes at the other Slytherin.

"And I'm still ten times the man you are." He smirked before turning to kiss Remus' cheek and leaving out the entrance to the dungeons.

Nobody moved. The young wolf almost forgot to breathe, he had to confirm with Lily what had just happened. She was as shocked as him. Everyone slowly moved in the direction of the dorms, almost in a trance from the surprise still passing through them, while Sirius was held back by his brother. Snape had kissed him, on his lips. And it wasn't a chaste little thing, there was passion held behind inexperience, making him wonder if Snape would have wanted to tongue him if he knew what to do. The thought left him a little sick, and body questioned as he turned to dorms instead of sitting with his friends.

He'd just changed into his pyjama pants and placed his hands on his tie when the door had swung open and shut. And there was Sirius, eyes alight with anger as he cast privacy wards. It was time for the conversation Remus had hoped to avoid, but he supposed he didn't have a choice. Sirius' eyes held no choice now.


	7. Chapter 7

Remus wanted to get out of there, fully aware they were alone and probably would be for a little while. But there was no way passed Sirius, unless he went through him.

"I've been trying to deal with your distance, I don't understand it but I thought you had a reason." His eyes flared, "but I swear, if you've been acting like this cos you're screwing Snivillus, I'm going to hurt you."

Remus just closed his eyes. It was killing him inside to see what his distance was doing, but he didn't trust himself. He controlled his breathing as he stepped as far as he could away from Sirius and explained that he didn't know what was going on with Snape. The kiss was as shocking to him as everyone else. As he breathed in deeply, Sirius' smell invaded his nose and his eyes sparked open. Sirius was charging towards him, and he prepared for him to hit him. If Remus was in his place, he'd do worse than simply hit him. So he just waited to see his fist swing back.

But Sirius didn't make the move he expected. He reached up to his face and stroked his cheeks, trying to pull their faces closer. Like a flare, Remus yanked his face away and was on the opposite side of the room. His breaths came out in shredded pants, and his mind rushed. He needed to control himself, because just having Sirius so close had burned his smell in his nostrils and it was driving his wolf wild. This is the closest he'd felt to turning without the being a full moon.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Sirius growled. "You'll let that greasy prick try to snog you, but not me. Are you actually kidding? You better explain this to me now, or I'm gonna go beat your ugly little boyfriend to a pulp."

His face was serious. Rage trying to cover up his pain and betrayal. Remus wanted to stay quiet, let Sirius be angry and run himself out of steam and then just avoid him. It would make staying out of each others' way easier, and that was the best way for Sirius to stay safe. But the hurt he'd already caused, he couldn't live with himself if he caused much more.

"I didn't know it was happening, but even then it's different. I've been avoiding you because I don't want to have this talk. I can't tell you how I feel because I'm scared of what will happen, but it's different. Having him kiss me, it was just surprising and uncomfortable. I can't let you kiss me, because it means more. You mean more."

His eyes just seemed surprised, and it was expected. Remus had ignored him for days, the closest they have gotten was the time he'd cussed him out and shoved him into a bedpost. And now he was saying- he didn't even know what he was saying. Sirius came closer and Remus tried to tell him to stop.

"Then tell me how you feel. I don't care if you don't want to, or you're scared. You don't want me any closer, then tell me." His eyes were stubborn, showing there was no real choice. The truth either comes out in words or when he made out with him.

"I'm trying to avoid you because I can't control myself with you. I feel drawn to you, you're hot and it sounds insane but you smell so good to me. I want to hold you all the time, and smell your hair and kiss you. You always look confident and in control but I felt when I had you against the bedpost that you'd submit to me and the thought drives me insane. I can't be around you because I can't control myself, and control is the centre of my life."

"Making out and smelling my hair doesn't sound so bad," he smirked flirtatiously.

"Sirius, that isn't all." I glared, surprising him with my intensity. "The problem is that I need more than that. You have no idea what I'm capable of, I bruised your arms the other day and that wasn't all my strength. If I ever saw you with someone else, I wouldn't trust myself not to lash out and hurt them. I'm naturally possessive and territorial, you'll get hickeys covering your neck to show everyone you're mine. Even from here, I want you so badly my skin is burning. I want to feel you all over me, I want to control you and I want you to want me more than anything. I need that intensity, I'm that intense. And it isn't fair to try and force that all on you. So please, give me the distance I need to control myself better. Maybe then I can try to be your friend."

"Hey, asshole," Sirius called, drawing their eyes to meet again. "Why don't you let me decide what it is I want, huh? Now, are we making out in your bed tonight or mine?"

Remus almost didn't contain his instincts. He was a breath away from claiming the smug boy in front of him like everything inside was demanding him to. It would be painful if he didn't have himself under control, the fading bruises on his arm would be a fond memory compared to the pain he could cause. Regardless of what Sirius said, he wasn't ready for that. He asked Sirius to move so he could get into bed. The other boy smirked, agreeing to move as he settled himself into Remus' bed, back against the headboard and insisted Remus continue changing.

"You can't possibly sleep in your shirt and tie," he chuckled. "It's okay, I'll wait while you strip down."

The thought of having Sirius see him was unsettling for a moment before a plan formed. It was bad enough there was a scar across his face, but after seeing the many coating his body, Sirius would realise he didn't want someone like him. He might not understand the scars, but so many so deep tended to unnerve people. They at least unnerved his tutor. He maintained eye contact, sliding hie tie out of place and undoing his buttons. Sirius tracked his movements, widening as each button revealed more damage. When all skin was bared, he looked back into his eyes.

He rose from his lounging, Remus looking away to wait for the rejection. It was what he wanted, well no it was what he needed, but it still hurt to see. As he breathed in, he noticed too late how strong the other boy's scent had become. He felt warm fingers lightly trail over a scar, the other hand rising to trace the once further up. There was mild curiosity in his eyes, but Remus refused to answer to where they came from. Instead, he was pulled into a kiss. It was better than when Snape had kissed him, there was a heat and passion the Slytherin hadn't had. It took all it control to hold himself together and pull away.

"Please, Remus," Sirius breathed, overwhelming the wolf with his scent. "Please keep kissing me."

Begging was the last straw. Nobody could resist that voice, werewolf or not. His fingers roped into the famous Black locks and pulled the other boy back to his lips, moving his other arm round to wrap around his waist and pulling them flush together. It felt amazing to have the object of his obsessive desire against him, and it was a feeling he soon felt intoxicated by. His ears picked up on the voices of their roommates coming from the stairway. Without explanation, he moved away from the other boy to find the t-shirt he slept in and beckon Sirius over to him. The other boy was confused, but followed after him and let himself be thrown onto Remus' bed. With the wolf settled between his legs, and the bed-curtains drawn and charmed, the kissing continued.

The boys entered quietly, chuckling at the single bed with its curtains closed. "Guess Sirius worked it out," Peter said, with James responding with a whoop.

Sirius chuckled beneath him, a light noise that sent vibrations from his chest to the chest above him. Remus followed the line of his jaw and kissed down the body beneath him. He didn't want to rush them, but he was desperate for any small taste of Sirius. Avoid the boy hadn't stopped his hunger, it made it worse. He reached to unbutton the pants of the other boy and strip off the offending clothes baring his access, licking his lips at the bulge beneath the last offending piece of cloth. The small gasp brought his mind back and he gained enough control to ask if Sirius wanted this.

"Your mouth on my knob? Fuck yes. Please."

 _Again with the breathy begging, he knows exactly how to get what he wants._ Remus lost himself to lust and actually tore the cloth out of his way. The tip already shone with pre-cum and it was too tempting to avoid licking the first bead of his cum. The growl ripped itself from his throat before there was a chance to stop it. Worried he'd scared him, Remus looked up to check on Sirius, not finding any fear in his lust-filled eyes as a shiver rocked his body. He begged again, fingers sliding into the wolf's short brown hair, drawing him closer to the hard cock inches from his face.

"With pleasure," Remus grinned.

His tongue lapped across the pulsing member, making the boy above him stutter through his breaths. He couldn't contain his excitement as he wrapped his scared lips around Sirius' dick. Maybe another time he'd tease the boy, and go slow until he begged for more pleasure, but Remus didn't have the patience. He sucked and swallowed with everything he had, so hard that Sirius could even make noises of pleasure, his breath just panted in a moany way. It took almost no time for Sirius to shoot down his throat, shaking with the force and mumbling an apology about never being with anyone like that.

Remus just smiled, "you taste so good."

Sirius bit his lip and blushed, but didn't break eye contact. The older boy lifted up to slide his tongue into the younger's shocked mouth, letting him taste how delicious his cum was. He asked if Remus wanted him to go back to his bed, face looking nervous, and Remus allowed the growl passed his lips. Sirius looked shocked, letting Remus strip the rest of his uniform before asking if there was anything he wanted to wear for bed before he wrapped around him and refused to let him get up.

"Let me just put some pants on," Sirius chuckled.

The wolf watched his graceful movements, rejecting the offer for a return gesture from the now satisfied teenager. He didn't want them to rush, his actions were spur of the moment. There was a lot they didn't know about each other, and Remus wanted to learn everything before they did anything like that again. Sirius reluctantly agreed, worming back into bed between the arms of his partner. The pureblood demanded they go public in a relationship, to warn 'Snivillius' off from trying to kiss him again. Remus just kissed him again, slow and passionate, before clutching Sirius like a warm teddy and falling into maybe the most peaceful sleep he'd had all his life. _Tomorrow morning will be fun,_ he sighed.


	8. Chapter 8

The whole week turned out to be fun for Remus.

Sirius had made him stick to his word and told all their friends, and anyone else listening at breakfast, that they were exploring a relationship together. Sirius held his hand all day, and walked him to lessons they had together. It was obvious he was making sure Snape knew they were an item, and therefore not open to being kissed again. Not that it was necessary. Severus caught him alone for a moment and asked him about it.

"I've had my eye on him since I got here, it was just a matter of time honestly." He smiled sadly.

"That's fine. I think it was because Regulus egged me on that I kissed you in the first place. I'm happy for you."

It wasn't true. There was a darkness to the other boy's eyes as he spoke that showed his pain, but there wasn't much Remus could say or do to help. The greatest help he could be would require something he didn't have to give. All his affections belonged to Sirius, and as long as he was wanted then he'd never share them with another. He'd studied up on werewolves, at his tutor's request, so he'd have more complete control of himself. They mated in one of two ways; either like rabbits or like penguins. They used a mate physically until there was nothing else for them to give, before moving on to the next person to breed with, or they mated for life. And from how he felt around Sirius, he was sure to be part of the latter group.

He'd avoided being too physical with the other boy, there was too much to learn about him before Remus let himself get carried away in the physical side of things. Plus he needed to figure out how to tell Sirius his secret, even though it was a serious struggle. He wanted to tear off the bandage and admit what had happened wasn't a simple animal attack, but that wasn't fair. He needed a delicate way to break out the truth.

Over the week he asked Sirius about everything he could think of. He learnt his dream career was to be an Auror alongside James, and he was just naturally talented at defensive spells. He learnt how the two boys had become friends when Sirius was sorted, being a Gryffindor from a long line of Slytherins had caused a little ruckus and nobody trusted a Black. James was the only one to look past his family and judge him for who he was. Then he started describing his family, a whole bloodline of really dark wizards who were famous for the worst spells and potions in recent history. His mother was impossible, always ranting and raving about blood purity and the muggle filth spreading across the world. Sirius quickly because an embarrassment to her when he learnt it was all crap.

"I can't say the same for my little brother. You met him before, Regulus is friends with Snivillus." Sirius grimaced, "I can't talk sense into him. But I think I've kept him on the straight path of staying away from those Death Eaters."

Three days in and Sirius finally started asking questions back. He wanted to know about Remus' parents, the first signs he showed of magic, all his favourite muggle things that he insisted were shown to him. His favourite colours, his favourite subjects, all the little things he liked. His mistake came on Thursday night, when Sirius had realised he didn't know Remus' birthday and the lovestruck fool had told him it was Sunday.

"You were just gonna let your birthday go by and not tell us." His lover growled, getting up from the bed.

"It isn't a big deal. Sure, I'm turning 17 and that's a big birthday with wizards. But I don't really celebrate ever."

"Well, we're doing it this year. You could have at least given me time to get a present sorted. Now it won't be as good." He pouted.

News of that spread quickly, and Lily was pissed too. She said that would only just be enough time to get a proper party together, as long as everybody chipped in. It was the worst-case scenario to everyone finding out, because a party would make it impossible to get out to meet the groundskeeper. So much had happened, it was almost easy to forget how much pain he was going to be in for the weekend. But everyone was already mumbling excitedly.

Lily arranged permission with Dumbledore, while James smuggled three bottles of firewhiskey and two muggle vodkas to liven up the party. Amelia and Alice offered to decorate, as transfiguring scrolls into streamers and things were something they'd done before. Sirius spoke to the house-elves so they'd sort out food and Peter happened to know a Hufflepuff he could borrow music from. Everything was organised in a couple of hours, and then there was no going back. _Perfect._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little chapter to set us up for the party, the perfect time for shit to hit the fan.


	9. Chapter 9

The common room was full to the brim with students, most not even knowing who Remus was, but all excited for the excuse to throw a party. The Hufflepuff came through for Peter, meaning music blared out around the room. It made everything louder. The only helpful thing about so many people meant he could quite easily hide in a corner, only occasionally seeing his friends before he stormed the makeshift dancefloor. The food was flowing from the kitchens whenever it became needed, and the alcohol made it's way around steadily. Sirius handed him a glass of firewhiskey to warm him up for the start of the evening. He only had to make it another two hours before he 'was too tired' and snuck off to meet Hagrid, but he still wanted to spend them with Sirius.

The noise of the room left talking to a minimal, but Sirius was all too happy to attempt to pull Remus onto the makeshift dancefloor now and then. Eventually, Remus stopped fighting against him, and they danced close together. Very close together, actually touching and grinding on each other at some points, but that might seem to have been Padfoot's intention. He did most of the grinding. Remus had to admit it was something he was starting to enjoy a little too much, a hunger building after not laying his callous hands on the other boy in days. But Sirius broke away to shout into Remus' ear about more drink. The werewolf just nodded, knowing his voice would be easily drowned by the heavy beat.

It was less than a minute after that Peter stepped up behind him, shouting that he wanted a word somewhere quiet. It was a strange request to come out of the blue, but not one Remus thought he could refuse. The sandy blonde had said maybe 10 words to him over the past week, so clearly whatever he wanted was important if he was putting him out there enough to say anything. Even the stairway was packed with people, not quiet enough for Peter's subdued stutter. In their dorm room, there was finally a moment of peace.

"I just wanted to say something, even though you might not see it as worth all this effort," the boy flushed. "I just wanted to say I think you've made Sirius really happy this week. It might be his longest relationship ever, and whatever it is he feels doesn't seem to be going away. I just wanted to thank you. My friends, they mean a lot to me, and you've made them happy. I just hope Sirius makes you happy in return, instead of what happened with-"

The blonde blushed a brighter red, stuttering that Remus should forget what he'd said and enjoy his party. The door opened before he could flee, but for a round boy, he manoeuvred around Sirius pretty well before running away. The pureblood quirked a curious eyebrow, but Remus wasn't entirely sure what was up with Peter either. His passing comment must have made him really embarrassed, it was the only thing he could think of. Sirius asked what they'd come up here to talk about, and it made the older male smirk.

"Oh, he was just thanking me. Apparently, I've been making you happy." Remus frowned, "I think his embarrassment was over mentioning he wanted me to be happy too, and not have a repeat of, I'm assuming, a bad breakup."

Sirius' face darkened as he cursed the other boy, turning slightly embarrassed eyes to his boyfriend. "He means Lewis. It was years ago, before I grew up a bit. He didn't want to sleep together so I left him. I'm obviously not going to be like that with you."

If he was a confident person, he'd have asked what Sirius meant. If he understood how someone as attractive as Sirius could think a scarred loner like Remus was anywhere near his league, then maybe he could have thought of another meaning to the words. But that wasn't how Remus saw himself. _Can't break up with you for not putting out when you've already blown him._ It drove home the fact that he didn't know Sirius that well at all. The boy he knew didn't seem the type to ever treat anyone that bad, but that boy had just admitted how little he cared when it came to relationships. When you're pretty, you get your pick. Someone doesn't satisfy what you want, on to the next sucker waiting in line for the playboy.

"Remus, I don't know what you're thinking, but you look sad so stop it." Sirius frowned. "There's something I wanted to tell you actually."

"Tell me tomorrow, I gotta go." Remus blurted.

Technically, he didn't have to leave the party for another 15 minutes to meet Hagrid with time to spare, but he didn't want to hear whatever words Sirius wanted to say. It wasn't going to be anything good, and he'd rather not ruin the image he had of his boyfriend any more than it had been. He didn't need Sirius knowing he was pathetic and obsessive enough to be okay with being used for sex or whatever as long as he got to stay with him. Clearly whoever Lewis was had more self-respect than Remus. He pushed passed a surprised and confused Sirius and charged for the door out of their dormitory. Lily caught him moving quickly, but was distracted by James before she could see him leave. _She'd be pissed at me trying to leave my own birthday party._

Remus had spotted the Whomping Willow when he first arrived, and she was as fearsome as Hogwarts: A History had made her out to be. A giant of a man lumbered beside him, commending him for being early before explaining how so get to his new equipment. Hagrid was bigger than Remus assumed, possibly half-giant, making him more at ease around him. They both had monster blood in them, and neither could do anything but not let it control them. Hagrid showed him the best way to calm the ancient tree before helping Remus into a ditch dug between its roots. There was a tunnel of darkness in front of him, his slightly heightened werewolf vision just making out where branches were strewn like booby traps.

"Yer just head down. Ther's a bedroom, upstairs. E'erything's in ther."

Remus lingered only to thank the groundskeeper, trudging on to the room as he'd been directed. He refused to think about Sirius, not when he needed to secure himself. He needed to have clear priorities when the full moon was coming. It would be easier to wear his clothes if they were still intact, and he couldn't replace them anyway, so stripping made the most sense. Completely naked, he took care to make sure he couldn't pull the chains out of the floor as I chained myself up.

"Okay, what the fuck is this?"

The voice startled Remus, making his turn to a Sirius that looked torn between being confused and angry. "If you left me when I was about to tell you something really fucking important, to have some weird BDSM sex, I'm going to cut your dick off."

Then it showed. Sirius shone in a weird silvery light, the window behind showing the worst as the moon came into view. He didn't even have a chance to tell his boyfriend to run before the pain made him fall to his knees. But having a familiar, welcome scent encase him made the pain seem better. Before he felt a hunger to devour the scent, in all ways.

"Get out of here." He growled, trying to move away. "Leave. Now. Please."

"I can't leave without you being here," Sirius frowned, pulling on the chains.

"Sirius!" It wasn't Remus' voice anymore, and the vision shift made him aware his eye must have changed too. "I'm a werewolf. Now leave before I tear you apart."

He snapped at his boyfriend without knowing he was going to. He wanted to sink his teeth into his shoulder and his dick into somewhere else. He wanted to ravage Sirius and take everything, be his everything. He was his mate, and he wanted to make him feel the love that consumed Remus' thoughts of him. But he wanted Sirius safe, so he clawed at his arms to keep from grabbing him. Slowly, he watched Sirius strip, until the boy was as naked as him. Then his form shifted, changing until there was a big, black dog in front of him. If Remus could have reacted, he'd have asked what was going on. But he wasn't in control anymore. So he could do nothing to stop himself from lunging for the big, black dog, and had to listen from within his monster cage as the chains snapped.


	10. Chapter 10

When Remus woke, he could feel pain all over his body, and couldn't remember most of the night. He stayed where he was on the floor, curled on his side as memories of the previous night came back to him. Sirius knew about him now. Remus felt small tears escape his eyes as he realised that he'd lost the first person he'd ever loved, there was no way Sirius would still want him now he knew.

After several minutes, Remus rose off the floor. His body sung with pain as he sat up, and he noticed a few more scratches on his arms and legs. He puzzled over a few, seen as the claw marks looked different to the many he'd inflicted upon himself, thinner. Then the memory returned that Sirius somehow became a dog and guessed they were from him. He couldn't recall when he'd scratched him, whether it was to defend himself or let out anger at not being told. He didn't care if Sirius was angry with him because it would make avoiding him a little easier. That was Remus' plan, to avoid Sirius and ignore the feelings he had for the boy, at least then the sting of his impending rejection wouldn't be so bad.

Just after Remus pulled his shirt over his aching, standing body, he heard the door creak open. He smelt the sweet smell of fresh pancakes and bacon, with the underlining smell that was achingly his favourite. He turned towards the smell with a smile, which he prevented from turning to a small frown when he noticed the boy carrying them. Sirius walked fully in and closed the door behind himself, before turning back to Remus.

"Morning Moony, how're you feeling?"

Remus said nothing, he just looked to the floor, trying to ignore how soft the black-haired boy's voice was. When he didn't get a reply, Sirius sighed. He explained that Marauders had animal-based nicknames. He was made a Marauder, so he should have one too. And with the whole werewolf thing, it would be a missed opportunity to not start calling him Moony. He walked over to Remus, tilting his head to face him with the hand that didn't carry breakfast. Now it was closer, Remus noticed the scrambled egg and toast also on the plate. Sirius' favourite. When he forced himself to look at Sirius, he saw the concern, and it pained him to look at.

"If you're thinking I'm mad at you not telling me about you being a werewolf, I'm not. I get it." Sirius smiled, "I know that you're probably not allowed to tell anyone and that it must have been hard for you, but I don't mind it, as you'll know from last night I can handle myself."

Remus shook his head slightly, "I don't remember last night. When I turn into a werewolf, I can't remember anything."

Sirius asked why he wasn't using the Wolfsbane Potion, but Remus explained how it had to be taken every day for a week before the full moon to have an effect, and he couldn't afford it. He'd made some Sunday but knew he didn't have the full week for it to work so didn't want to waste it. Sirius nodded, softly stroking one of the new scars, one of the different ones. He apologised, blaming his small dog brain for not understanding why Remus hadn't told him but laughed that he was only a dog at the time. Remus nodded, trying not to involve himself in the mirth. Sirius couldn't want him now, and by acting like it was an average day showed Remus that he wanted someone to mess with.

"Look, what's your problem?" Sirius frowned. "You haven't been yourself since you found out about Lewis, you don't need to be an ass, just tell me what's going on."

"No, I don't have a problem. I can't help feeling shame about it, but I'm okay," Remus frowned, trying in vain to keep his tears at bay. Sirius looked utterly confused. "You don't have to worry about me because honestly, I'd stay beside you even if you only wanted sex just to be near you. I'm in love with you, it's crazy but I am. I understand that you can't love me now. Nobody can love a beast, but I need you. I know half the boys in our year want you to notice them, and I can't stand the thought of you being with them."

The confusion didn't leave Sirius' face, and he appeared to be thinking hard over what Remus said. The brunette couldn't stand being there, looking at the man he'd loved and lost. But he hadn't lost him, because he never truly had him in the first place. They were a couple, but it didn't go that deeply for one of them. As he attempted to leave the room, Sirius grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks, with a look of shocked realisation on his face.

"Just because you're a werewolf doesn't mean you're a beast. I'm sorry you found out about Lewis, but I've grown up since then. I wouldn't have spent five days getting to know you if it was only sex. And I'd have demanded another blowjob. This is real for me too, and I love you too regardless."

Remus just shook his head, he'd had a rejection in his head too long to think different, it was too good to be true. He tried turning away again, but the other boy's grip tightened. He tugged at it in frustration and found himself with his back against a wall with Sirius scowling at him. The other boy gripped Remus' head between his hands, and brought their lips together in a deeply passionate kiss, running his tongue along Moony's lower lip, asking for entrance. Remus couldn't hold himself together as Sirius kissed him, opening up to him and wrapping his arms around his sweetheart.

When they pulled apart, desperate for air, Sirius rested his head against Remus'. "Please believe me Moony. I do love you, even if it's crazy to say after such a short time, it's true. This is love at first sight for me. James thought it was a bad idea, to tell you I mean, because he thinks I'm crazy. But I've never been cared for before, and there's something about how we've been together, bouncing off each other. We just work. We fit together in a way I've never experienced before. I think it's love. I think I'm in love with you too."

Remus couldn't hold his tears in any longer, and the floodgates opened as he sobbed endlessly, and grabbed onto Sirius, gripping onto him for dear life. Sirius found his moist lips and placed a tender kiss on them, clutching his lover to his chest. They remained in each other's arms, even as they broke their kiss and began panting. Remus looked into the dark-haired boy's beautiful eyes, overwhelmed by his emotions, overpowered by his love. As he recalled the sweet week they'd spent together, he realised how right Sirius was. _Love at first sight_. And now Remus wanted nothing more than to consummate their passionate love.

"I want you, Siri please," Remus begged, breathing into the older boy's ear. "Please, I want to make love to you. I want to claim you. I want to love you."

Remus almost laughed at the way the other boy's eyes widened, but before he had the chance he was being pulled flush against Sirius' chest and into a passionate kiss. He felt Sirius moving their bodies, trying to keep their lips together, and leading them to the bed. They slumped onto the dusty, moth-eaten sheets, not caring about those unsubstantial things, and focusing on each other's pleasure. Even after a night in control, the beast in Remus couldn't be contained and caused him to crawl on top of Sirius' body. He kissed along the older boy's jaw, continuing down his neck, and leaving a bright love bite on the collarbone. He ripped into Sirius' clothes, hearing the boy chuckle at his eagerness, and moan when Remus sucked on his perky nipples. Continuing his torment down the body of the boy beneath him, he pulled the trousers down his legs, caressing his thighs with light kisses. Mere moments later, Remus had his lips around the shaft of his first love and was trying to swallow him whole.

"Remus please," Sirius whimpered. "If you carry on like this, we won't be able to make love."

Remus shook his head, he needed to be hard to enter his boyfriend, but Sirius could cum as many times and any time he wants. He stopped fighting against his urge to just carry on. He reached up and pushed his fingers in the other boy's mouth, shocking him, but still getting his message across. _Suck_. When he thought they'd be moist enough, he removed his fingers from Sirius' mouth and pressed the first against his ring of muscle. Sirius winced a little, but after another of Remus' deepthroat motions, he relaxed and practically pulled the finger further in with a moan. As Remus stretched him with three fingers, his lips still wrapped tightly around his lover's member, Sirius was squirming on his fingers, using them to fuck himself. He bent his fingers against the sweet spot in his lover and Sirius choked on his moans as he came down Remus' throat.

Sirius was ready for him now. When his fingers were pulled out, Sirius still managed to whine at the loss and bit his lip when he felt the head of Remus' cock against his ass. It was easier than he thought it'd be, mostly because he could feel Sirius trying to pulling him in deeper. Once wasn't enough for his greedy lover. Remus' inner wolf wanted to move, seriously _move_ , but Remus stayed in control. He didn't want this to seem like some meaningless screw, this was going to be full-on, stereotypical, and sweetly slow love-making.

He kept his pace steady, moving with determined slowness, making sure each thrust hit his beautiful boyfriend's sweet spot. The boy under him became a moaning mess, but kept crying out for more. He wanted to be treated a little rougher. So Remus gave him what he wanted. He wanted to give him everything he wanted. He wanted to be his everything, give him everything. Seeing his lover getting hard again made him wild and suddenly gripped onto Sirius' shaft and started to stroke in time to Remus' thrusts. He was close to breaking point. Remus moved Sirius' hand to take hold of the cock in front of him, and lead down close to Sirius' ear.

"I love you so much," Remus whispered, kissing Sirius as his hand moved faster.

It only took a few strokes to make the young Black find his release, the blushing boy's asshole tensing and pulsating on the werewolf's own cock, helping him find release as well. The two boys laid beside each other, cuddling in their post-coital bliss, thanking Merlin it was a Sunday. They agreed to come out as a couple, publicly, for everyone to see. Neither cared about the world's opinion anymore, all they cared about was each other. It was the first time either of the boys had been in love, and they wanted it to be the last.

* * *

"Hey, where's Remus? I managed to get his birthday present here in time."

Lily was confused but James was smirking into his parchment. He wrote nothing, but he wanted to make it look like he was being productive. It pleased Lily for him to look like he cared about his education. She asked if he knew something and his smug look didn't move.

"I promise Remus is fine, maybe better than fine."

Lily blushed. The implied meaning to that was enough to get an embarrassed reaction. Not that she minded very much. If that was really what was happening, then Remus had opened up about he felt and Sirius had reciprocated. They could be as happy as her and James. A smile graced her lips as she sat next to her boyfriend and cuddled into his side.

"I'm happy for them too. Hopefully they last, Sirius is smitten, it's new and nice to see." James laughed, "I hope they invite us to the wedding. We certainly will."

The blush remained, but she also smiled. Maybe they would get married one day. A couple of kids. Lily wanted a boy first, a big brother to the other kids she had. Would Remus and Sirius have kids? She hopes so. A load of them. A whole litter of babies that she could be the godmother of, babysit all the time. Now that sounded like the future that wanted to be part of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had a comment about the almost Remus/Severus moment, and they wanted to see where that went. I agree. If there are other people interested in that pairing, I could try to work it as a separate timeline, but I don’t want to waste my time if nobody is interested. Let me know in the comments.


End file.
